Wondering
by Ogino Chihiro
Summary: A songfic about promises. To Setting Up Sunday by The Meg and Dia Band.


**Wondering**

_by OginoChihiro_

_(&-&)_

**Disclaimer: I don't own Spirited Away. Or these characters. I just love them.**

**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

_I'm setting up Sundays  
Watching the winter grow  
So oh... no  
Oh we're making excuses  
For human frailties  
It's not about me  
Oh it's never about me_

How long had it been? Three, four, five years? She stopped counting the years long ago. There she stood silently, alone on the sidewalk against front of a broken down shop, forgetting to watch the time go by. The strange memory of snow softly drifting in front of the glass window gave her chills as she tapped it gently with her fingers. What was there to do, now that it was all gone?

_Now home is gone  
And I'm lost and alone  
Now my lover's gone  
And I'm lost and alone_

She didn't know where to turn once she knew there was no going back. There was no finding it again. Somehow, the small town felt so empty…not even the buzz of happy voices seemed to fill it. They just hung there, lingering, echoing through the bitter frosty air. She hadn't seen him since the day they parted. And she probably wouldn't. Ever.  
_  
Kid I'm right here  
And I'm not leaving  
And there's no way to make you stay  
But I'm saving all my worries for the day you don't need me_

What difference did it make? She had stood there, waiting, wondering when he would come. Did he even remember their promise? It seemed so long ago. But she wouldn't say it, she wouldn't show it. What use was it, in this world, where he wouldn't hear her? It could've been he had forgot her. If that was true, then she couldn't stay any longer.  
_  
Oh we're selling out Mondays  
Watching those children grow  
So cold.. no  
Oh we're weighing our hands down  
Our insecurities  
It's not about me  
Oh it's never about me_

She couldn't shake the doubt that wracked her mind. The biting cold that had nothing to do with the winter absorbed her, enveloped her. It left her without a sense of what to do, where to hold on. And now, she couldn't think. Was it ever going to stop? When would someone take her hand and listen, just like he once did? _This lonely world won't ever stop spinning._

_Now I can't go on  
And I'm lost and alone  
now my lover's gone  
And I'm lost and alone _

There was no way out of it. It sank into her slowly. She wished for someone to hold her tight and comfort her until the sun broke through the clouds. But there was no one around.

_Kid I'm right here  
And I'm not leaving  
And there's no way to make you stay  
But I'm saving all my worries for the day you don't need me_

She knew that he had given her everything that she needed, helped her through the hard times she had been having. But she had given nothing back. And she knew that he could have left anytime. Maybe this was finally the retribution of her selfish actions. Maybe he really had forgotten. She had to be strong, and fight the sick feeling that threatened to engulf her. So she wouldn't worry her family and her friends. She had kept up that façade for such a long time. She couldn't give up now…

_Kid I'm right here  
It's now morning  
There's no way  
Please stay_

As the snow slowed to a stop, the sun's rays made a headfirst dive through the clouds, breaking through. They illuminated her face, and the sounds of footsteps and laughter reached her ears. An uneven sound of sandals broke the silence.

_Setting up Sundays  
Setting up Sunday  
Watching their hearts in soil  
It's not about me  
Oh oh it's never about me_

Her heart beat faster as she dared to look up. Relief washed over her as she saw the green eyes she had dreamed of countless times. The words spilled from her mouth.

"I knew you'd come."

Just when she had needed him the most. Just like always.

_Making excuses  
For human frailties  
It's not about me  
It's not about me  
It's never about me  
Hey it's always about me_

Doubts, thoughts, they didn't matter now. Her mask was slowly falling away. He was here, with her. To give her light, to give her protection. And this time, she would give something back.


End file.
